Have totally forgotten about the existence of this page. Reading it has brought back a huge amount of memories, both good and bad.
I guess deep down, inside me, I always knew it was always impossible to have everyone around you happy - to please the people who matter to you; to give in constantly. Well, it may be possible at the beginning, where you believe it's worth it, and time will work its magic. But sadly, time continues, and soon you give up. How long can one continue? Do you see me? Have you thought about, me?
It hurts me when I see my friends with their family.. when they go home for home cooked meals and they go shopping with their moms and basically spend quality family time.. because thats exactly what im missing at the moment. I feel so empty at times, i feel lonely, and feel like everyone i love and care for so much is so far away from me.. and it sucks, cause i cant do anything about it.
i dont even want to call my family because it hurts me - it hurts me to hear their voice and knowing i cant hug them or give them a peck on their cheeks. It hurts me to tell them much because i dont want them to worry. Instead, i'd rather just keep it all to myself...
i just want to go home right now.. sometimes i wonder why i even want to study abroad. so much i have to give up.. i dont know how i came this far.. i really dont...
Sorry, been so busy.
I'm in class, food and nutrition and this class suckkkkkzzzsssszz so borrring omg
i think i would be fast asleep already if i didnt have my lappie with me, oh thank you lord
i feel like eating. Its 846PM and i had dinner at 530PM, but i wont eat cause i dont wanna gain more weight :(
i will cut down on candies (gummy plus sour candy) and ice cream, :'(
okay back to constipation and diaarhea
My hamsum chubby old man ♥
hehehe feel so blessed ^^
at the airport before i left
dadddddy, funny face remember??? Mommy, youre an expert :P
My brother!!! miss u ah...
Thanks guys :) I miss you all veryvery much... :( ♥ you all!!
My lifesaver and babyberry lol
My mom just told me my dad is allowing her to inject some botox into her eyelids to make them all poofy and solid so she'll look younger.. but anyhow, I think she's beautiful already but what makes her happy makes all of us happy too right? right. Next thing you know, my brother's gonna slit his small eyes and my abuyo too, and maybe me? Then we can be the family of huge double eyelids, nice.
hahahaha jokes
I'm in the Motherland of mozzies, aka Indonesia, Kota Baru Parahyangan (?) meaning the City of Parahyangan? Lol I would ask my dad but he's in the washroom.. we're all getting ready to sleep now. Did I mention my dad's a funny man? I mean, we had lunch the other day (been having vegetarian since Tuesday) and my dad had this meeting over lunch with his boss.. so that meant it's just my mom and I, in indonesia, having vegetarian and not knowing a thing about bahasa (unless you consider numbers and bagus good speaking bahasa). We ate, finished lunch and sat there chatting only to get a call from my dad telling me he hasn't even started.
Well, I really wouldn't want to stay there waiting till who knows when they'll finish so I thought my mama and I will just walk home (half an hour), erm yea in Indonesia. So I gave my daddy a call and complained, I don't wanna get robbed!
Me: So daddy, mommy and I are walking home okay?
Daddy: Okay, you know how to get home right?
Me: Ya, dont worry. Erm but daddy, we won't get robbed right?
Daddy: Nooooo...! don't worry.. Michelle, if anything happens, just give me a call alright? I'll be there right away.
Ended the call happily thinking, he he he so cute ah my daddy and then it struck me - erm, so if I do get robbed, how imma gonna call my dad?! So the whole time my mama and I were walking home, I had to use my huge ass golf umbrella as a shield juuuuusssst incase anyone plans to attack us. Oh! and we walked uber fast too, but wait, I usually walk fast anyways. I! made my mom walk like lightning-speed fast. :)
and we got home safetly teehee. woo indonesia, sucha funny place.
Today I found myself feeling very emotional for some reason. I woke up thinking, and then crying and realizing how I am going to miss the people here when I leave in about 2 months. I woke up realizing that my brother is back in camp - oh I can't believe I miss how he would come into the room at unearthly hours in the morning to disturb my mom and I just because he's awake at 8 AM with no one to talk to. How I miss the loud blaring of cartoons from the tv my brother is watching, the flipping of newspaper and the clanking of his utentils while he eats tuna from the can with bread. Why am I feeling so emotional? Why do I wake up and cry for no good reason? What is happening?
I can't believe I walked into my room and cried. What would my mother think when she wakes up seeing my eyes swelled and bloodshot. This is not me, I have a problem. I think my period is coming.
